Your Guardian Angel
by xXashxbeckiXx
Summary: Bella was born to Carlisle and Leonora Cullen in 1651.3 years later C disapears.B later age17 is killed by L and her new husband.B becomes a Guardian Angel,a very rare thing and is slowly joined by the GA's of the Cullen Coven.Sucky Summary. :
1. Chapter 1

**A/N – **

_Heyy!!!!_

_I have here for all you wonderful people, a New Story that I will actually finish!!!!!!!_

_*Every one Cheers*_

_I don't actually know how i got this idea..........it just sort of came out of no-where........._

_Anyway.........._

_I will let you get on with reading............_

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BPOV

In the year 1650, 19 year old Carlisle Cullen married a woman named Leonora Marie Swan.

Together they were blissfully happy, so 1 year later when their first child was born, their love only got stronger. They had a baby daughter. She was named Isabella Marie Swan Cullen.

Me.

I was happy; I had a loving mother and an amazing father. We had money and comfort and love. That was all that we needed. Daddy would go out to work in the day and I would stay with my mother, she would bake and sew, then sometimes she would let me help. We would laugh all day and then when daddy came home I would run to the door and he would scoop me up in his arms and kiss my forehead, while I giggled.

"I missed you baby Bella!" he would say and I would reply

"I missed you too daddy...." then proceed to tell him about what I done with mother that day.

He would laugh and smile and mother would come out of the kitchen and kiss daddy. We would all eat our dinner and afterwards daddy would tell me a story as I fell asleep on his lap next to mother sitting on our comfy chairs around the fireplace, then daddy would put me to bed and tell me how much he loves me and mother.

But at that point came the time when he would say good-bye to mother and leave to go and hunt the nasty monsters. Mother and Daddy wouldn't tell me what monsters daddy looked for but I knew he did look. But he would always be home in the morning. Always.

Except one time he didn't come home. He didn't come home the next day either, or the next or the next...........

Daddy was gone. Taken by the monsters.

Only mother didn't tell _me_ that.

No, she told me he left because he didn't want me, that he didn't love me, so he left me with her. That it was my fault daddy had left her.

That broke my 3 year old heart.

A few years after daddy disappeared, I was about 7 and mother had been using me as a slave for herself, she got re-married to a man called Nathaniel. He was horrible. No, worse than horrible, he was evil. Evil on earth.

He started mother on the idea of beating me.

Every night I would be going to bed, after a couple of torturous hours of being hit, kicked, thrown, burned and spat on, with so many bruises, cuts, burns and marks that I couldn't count them. My life was just more and more pain. I didn't think it could get any worse.

But I was wrong.

One year,

Three more years,

Six more long, pain filled years past.

Until that night.

The night that changed what was left of my life forever.

The night I was murdered.

**A/N – **

_Soooooo..........what do you think?_

_I will post the next chapter in a few minutes because I have the first 5 chapters pre-written.........I just would like some REVIEWS to tell me if you want me to continue..........because I really don't want to write out a whole story for you guys to hate it and have all the time I spent locked in my room writing it being just a waste...........that would just be depressing ___

_So ...........PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!!_

_All you have to do is drop me a couple of words – anything from 'Good' to a long winded, 5000 word essay........anything is appreciated..........._

_Lots of Love, Hugs and Cookies,_

_Ashley xx :D_


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N –**

_Heyya......._

_So I have Chapter 2 here..........._

_So read your little hearts out.................._

September 10th 1668.

The day I was murdered.

Three days before my 18th birthday.

I died three days before I could escape.

Bet your wondering how I'm telling my story if I'm dead, right?

Well, I wasn't sure for quite a while. It all happened so quickly.

-Flashback-

I was standing in the middle of our small kitchen. Nathaniel and Leonora were standing in the door way.

Nathaniel came pacing over to me, his black, shiny shoes slapping noisily on the cold stone floor. He stopped at an arm's length in front of me. A twisted smile appeared on his lips and the evil glint in his black eyes shone brightly in the dim candle light.

It was about 8 o'clock in the evening and it was already dark out, the night animals were starting to come out. And those monsters that took my loving father away.

Suddenly, Nathaniel's hand came up and slapped me across the side of my face, hard. Even though I was expecting it, I let out a cry of fright and a small amount of pain, from where he struck yesterdays bruises.

His hand came up to slap me again, still that smile upon his thin, grey lips. I cried out again.

He grabbed my face between one hand and swung the other around to connect with my stomach. The force of the blow sent my body flying backwards, but Nathaniel still held my face, I could hear my neck make a cracking sound.

Pain shot through me as he shoved me to the ground and my head smacked the stone floor with a sickening thud.

I cried out once more, begging him for mercy, even though I knew it was no use.

Leonora was standing next to him now. Both had matching evil smiles and were both poised as if to attack.

Then, without any further warning, they were punching me; kicking me, then picking me up and slamming me back down onto the floor.

The pain was worse than ever before, it blinded me.

Blood was now gushing from my head, the smell was rusty and salty, and it was making me feel sick.

Nathaniel lifted me from the floor once more and dropped me, as if in slow motion, the floor came rushing towards me.

As I connected with the floor I heard a loud crack, everything went blurry until it all went black. All I could feel was some of the worst pain I have ever felt. It felt like I was being ripped or smashed into tiny pieces.

There was a loud ringing in my ears and I suddenly felt like I was wading through thick, wet mud, it felt like I was being pulled under the surface of the sea, being dragged down, down, down deep into the darkest depths.

The pain was leaving now, I was numb.

Then, my heart stopped.

I was dead.

But there was a pull, something was pulling me from my body.

A shot of pain went through my body. Something was ripping part of my body out, I was being pulled apart.

Then, I was free.

I could feel my soul? My spirit?

Whatever it was, it was leaving my body.

I was free, I was floating.

I slowly cracked one eye open, and there I was floating up over the heads of Nathaniel and Leonora, who were trying to wake me up.

_Stupid fools, trying to wake the dead. _

I brought my hand up to my face and gasped.

I was what resembled a ghost. I could see right through myself down to the floor.

Realising this, I decided I was the spirit and soul leaving my body.

I was rising quicker now, going through the roof of my house, my transparent dress floating around my also transparent body and out behind me.

I was floating towards the moon now, getting higher than I ever thought possible.

Was I going to heaven? Would my Father be there? I hoped so.

Higher and higher until I reached the clouds, a bright, white light was shining not far off.

Closer and closer until the light were nearly blinding me.

I glided through the clouds and into the light.

-End Flashback-

**A/N – **

_Ok......................_

_Do you like???????_

_Pictures of characters, places etc. for later in the story are now on my profile....._

_PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

_It means a lot to me if you drop me a line..............._

_Lots of Love, Hugs, Cookies and Emmett,_

_Ashley xx :D_


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N – **

_I want to say a very, very big thank you to the people who reviewed – so THANKS!!_

_~Hands out Cookies~_

_So........on with Chapter 3........_

_Oh yeah, I forgot to put a disclaimer in the other chapters, so here it is now – I DON'T OWN ANYTHING EXCEPT THE PLOT AND ANYTHING THAT IS NOT STEPHENIE MEYER'S!!!!!!!! Sadly....... :'( _

Passing through the light, something about my ghost-resembling spirit-soul body was changing. I seemed to be getting more substantial, more like a body than a ghost.

This is all so strange; I couldn't work out what was going on with my.........body?

I looked up ahead; I was floating quickly towards a pair of white-gold gates.

I really was going to heaven. I could see the pearly gates.

Just as I reached the gates, I dropped. I was no longer floating; I was standing in front of the gates to heaven on a cloud.

Wait, I am standing on a cloud?

What? How is that possible?

Then again, I have just floated into the sky, so I guess standing on clouds isn't so surprising.

I stepped forward a bit, still cautious about falling through and back to earth.

I continued like this for a while, slowly making my way up to the gates.

The gates themselves were magnificent, two huge white pillars stood beside each other with shiny white spear-like poles connected by smaller poles made up the biggest gate I had ever seen. There was a circular plaque in the middle at the top, with a large 'H' engraved on it.

All in all it was a beautiful sight with the glow of the moon making the gates sparkle.

Behind the gates was a person or rather, an angle standing there. Her huge great wings catching the moon light, and like the gates, they were sparkling. She had long blonde hair and was wearing a long white gown. She was smiling at me.

I stood in front of the gates, facing the angel; she was still smiling so I smiled back at her.

Slowly she reached forward and swiftly pulled the gates open, and gestured me to step through.

I was again cautious of where I was walking, but this time, not from fear of falling through the clouds, but of where the angel was taking me.

The angel still didn't speak, but smiled comfortingly at me, as if to say

_Don't worry, I know how you feel _

I felt reassured and stepped carefully through the enormous gates and into Heaven.

**A/N – **

_Right, so for chapter number 3, what did you think?_

_I know the chapters are really, stupidly short, but they will get longer as the story progresses – I Promise!!!!!_

_I just need to get the story up and running first._

_So.........PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!! _

_Lots of Love, Hugs, Cookies, Emmett and Fluffy, Pink Sheep,_

_~ Ashley xx :D_


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N – **

_Heyy People!_

_Here we have the next chapter of You Guardian Angel!!!!_

_Please read the A/N at the bottom of the chapter – it has a sort-of-important notice!_

_Disclaimer – Sadly I don't own Twilight or any of the characters. *Cries*_

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Heaven was not how I expected it to be.

Angels didn't sit on clouds and play music all day and all night. They didn't stay awake 24 hours a day.

No, heaven was way better than I could ever imagine.

Heaven was basically another world; going through the gates had been the entrance.

The angels lived like normal people, going about everyday tasks, meeting up with fellow angels, singing together, living in houses, eating as normal humans would.

I really liked it here in heaven.

But that's not the best part.

After following that angel all the way into the centre of heaven, she told me to kneel at the bottom of the Staircase to God and listen.

So I did.

God spoke to me.

He told me about my father.

He was alive (in a way) and safe. He missed me every day. That he never stopped loving me.

But that he was different. He had to hide from humans.

My father was a Vampire.

But I didn't care.

He was my father and I loved him no matter what.

God also told me that I was a special kind of angel now. One that there were few people pure enough, selfless enough and loyal enough to become.

I was one of those few.

He told me I was a Guardian Angle.

I was the Guardian of Carlisle Cullen, my father.

I would be able to watch over him and make sure he was safe.

He also told me that Guardian Angels had powers that normal angels don't poses.

As a Guardian, I could shape shift to other creatures, change my appearance, set up a mind link between my fellow Guardians and the people we are watching over. Guardians also had two extra powers that were unique to them. I had a mental and physical shield and I could give any non-human creature, human abilities.

God told me that the other Guardians were guardians of humans so once the human died, the human would meet their Guardian at the pearly gates, they would come to the Stairway to God, the Human would become an angel and their guardian, having finished their job of keeping their human safe, would be able to ascend the staircase and Rest in Peace for the rest of eternity.

But I was a bit different. Because my father was a vampire, he probably wouldn't die. So I would be staying in Heaven for as long as he lived. I was fine with that, just as long as I got to look over my father.

For someone to become a guardian angel of a human they had to have been shown a limited amount of love in their (human) lives or they had to die trying to save or saving someone else.

But to be a vampire's guardian, limited love was easy enough. But the dying whilst trying to save someone who was about to be turned into a vampire?

Not so much.

There was another way though. If a human was pure, selfless and loyal enough to become a guardian and a member of their family was turned into a vampire they could also become a vampire guardian.

But that was a lot to take in and as the angel, who was still nameless, led me to my house in Guardians Village (where the rest of the guardians lived) in a daze.

My father wasn't dead.

I was a guardian angel.

I had powers.

I would probably be 'alive' for eternity.

Wow.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

**A/N – **

_So..........as usual – What did you think???????_

_PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!_

_So my important-ish notice is that I will up-date on Saturdays or Sundays after this week (I am now on half-term Break – YAY!)_

_This is because I have to fit in writing around my rather hectic life which consists of Gymnasts, little sister babysitting, gymnastics, more gymnastics and soon cheerleading will be added to the list (I am(hopefully) joining the county team! Yay! Go Dragons!) _

_Anyways....................._

_I DO NOT MEAN ANY OFFENCE WHAT SO EVER OVER THIS INTERPRITATION OF 'HEAVEN'!!!_

_If I have offended anyone then I am very, very sorry!!!!_

_Ok...............well you know what to do!!!!!!!! So go and REVIEW!!!!!!!_

_Lots of Love, Hugs, Cookies, Emmett, Fluffy, Pink Sheep and Alice,_

_~ Ashley xx :D _


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N – **

_Heyy guys_

_I am so so so so so so sorry for not updating in forever!!!!!_

_My life seems to be going, well, backwards, at the moment. That sounds really weird, but let's leave it at that some old, hoped-would-never-happen-again problems have arisen and now my life is cruddy. _

_I have just needed time to sort myself and my shizz out._

_Depressed time over – _

_Anyways, I am back now and I come with a new chapter!_

_Disclaimer- I [sadly] do not own Twilight or any of the characters._

* * *

As I sat on my cloud, watching over my father I thought about those first few days in Heaven.

I remembered my little house. It was just like the one my father use to tell me about in my bedtime stories, all those years ago. It had a small thatched roof, white walls and black wooden edging. I loved it.

I remembered meeting all the other guardians, and when I told them I was a vampire's guardian - all but two shied away. Lucinda and Henry were the only ones who actually talked to me, but I was fine with it like that.

I remembered the first time I watched my father from my little cloud.

-Flashback-

I was sat silently on my cloud. Lucinda had just told me how to find my father.

It was very simple actually, all I had to do was imagine him and the cloud I was sat on floated towards him, after that I would be able to locate him, it was second nature to know where he was or if he was in danger, I mean, that's what I'm here for. To keep him safe and to get my second chance in, well, life, if that's what I can call being an angel.

I started to picture my father's face, or rather what I could remember of his face, and my cloud started slowly moving.

A few minutes past and the cloud came to a halt. I scanned the earth with my newly powerful eyes; it took about 5 minutes before they came to rest on a figure, deep in the forest on the edge of London.

It was him. My father.

I felt a smile spread over my face as I recognised him.

14 years I had waited to see him again, and now here he was.

The only sad thing was I couldn't contact him. I couldn't talk to him; tell him I was dead but watching over him.

I was un-able to contact him in anyway, but I could influence him – make him make the right choices, that sort of thing.

At least I could watch over him, keep him safe.

As I observed him, I realised he wasn't following the diet that vampires usually followed.

He wasn't drinking human blood, and he was weak, so very, very weak.

I couldn't stand to see him like this. It was breaking my un-beating heart to see him struggling to survive. I wanted to help him so badly, it hurt.

Over the following days, as I stayed watching over head, I tried to figure out a way in which he could survive without human blood. I couldn't think of any solutions.

Until that day.

I had been mulling over different solutions to the no human blood problem for about 3 weeks, when it came to me.

Animal blood.

It could work; I mean, blood was blood, right? Human blood was pretty much the same as animal blood.

So when a herd of deer passed him, I made him want to attack them.

That extra push was what he seemed to need, as soon as I sent it his way, he attacked.

And his animal diet began.

-End Flashback-

I enjoyed that memory, because it was the beginning of my father's 'life'.

Over the years he worked on his blood lust, whilst travelling the world.

About 100 years or so after he began drinking from animals, he underwent the first stages of getting a medical degree. He was going to be a doctor. I was really proud of him, he had wanted to become a doctor in his human life, but he never got the chance. This was his chance, and being a vampire was not going to stop him.

**A/N – **

_So what did you think??? _

_As always – PLEASE REVIEW!!!!_

_Now, this shizz I was talking/ writing about earlier/ before this chapter might get a little more messed up, so I will try and give you a heads up if I don't think I will be able to update at any point.............................._

_A SPECIAL THANKS TO ALL OF YOU WHO HAVE REVIEWED EVERY CHAPTER – YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!!!_

_Lots of Love, Hugs, Cookies, Emmett, Fluffy, Pink Sheep, Alice and Shopping_

_~Ashley xx: D_


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N – **

_Hey guys, _

_Chapter 6 here for you, after the ridiculously long wait. (Which I am incredibly sorry for!!!!)_

_I will give you my reason(s) for not updating at the bottom of the chapter._

Over the years, as I watched down on my father, we were both alone. He was the only vampire he knew of that had his animal diet and he desperately wanted a companion.

I was the same; it got lonely being the only guardian to a vampire.

All the other guardians had humans to watch over, so they tended to avoid me. It had gotten worse when Lucinda, then closely followed by Henry, left to ascend the stairway after their humans died.

So like my father I wanted a friend, a sister or a brother, anyone who was also a vampire's guardian. All I could do was hope someone would die for the human my father chose to change, but the chances of that were not very big.

I was not very hopeful at all.

Hence why I was incredibly surprised when the mother of Edward (the human boy my father decided to change) ended up dying whilst tying to save her son.

As a result Elizabeth Masen joined me in heaven as guardian to her son, my father's new companion.

My father had no idea that, by choosing Edward, he not only gained a son but I gained a friend, and for that I was eternally grateful to him.

I was delighted to finally have someone to talk to. After a few years of watching over my father and Edward, I came to think of Elizabeth as my mother. I was ecstatic when she told me she thought of me as the daughter she never had.

My 'life' was great.

And it was about to get a whole lot better.

**A/N – **

_Ok, so how was that?_

_The chapters are still horribly short for now but I just do not have very much time on my hands at the moment to even think about writing. _

_I have a few things happening at the moment – _

_Gymnastics competitions, dance shows, drama pieces to prepare for exams next term (term is the equivalent of a semester for those who didn't know). On top of that I have to decide on my options for my GCSE courses next year (GCSE's for those who don't know are massive exams everyone in Britain [and maybe Europe – I don't really know] takes at 16 years old but we start preparing now). _

_Oh, and remember the shizz I was told you about last chapter? _

_Yeah, as much as I hate to say it, it has gotten a hell of a lot worse. Yay for me. (Note the sarcasm)_

_So now you know, _

_PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE REVIEW – it will make me smile!!!!!!_

_Lots of Love, Hugs, Cookies, Emmett, Fluffy, Pink Sheep, Alice, Shopping and Chocolate,_

_~Ashley xx :D _


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N – **

_Hey guys, _

_I know most of you hate me for not updating in over a month but I will explain why at the bottom of the chapter in my A/N, Ok?_

_So, enjoy the long-awaited chapter 6!!!!!!_

After 3 years of it being just Elizabeth and I, our family started to grow, in time with my father adding to his family.

First came Esme, in 1921, for my father and Edwards's coven and for me and Elizabeth, Esme's guardian, Emily. Emily was Esme's younger sister who died saving her from Charles's beatings, just before Esme got pregnant. Emily didn't join us straight away, she was just a regular, non-guardian angel, until Esme's son, William, died and Esme tried to commit suicide, effectively becoming a vampire and what would be my step-mother.

William also joined Elizabeth, Emily and I in heaven as a second guardian to his mother, Because he was so young when he died, once he got to heaven, he was able to grow for a few years, so now Will looked roughly 5 years old. He was absolutely adorable, and still is.

Rosalie was the next to join the Cullen's, in the year 1933, and her younger sister, Allysa, became a guardian. Allysa joined us as Rosalie's guardian because she was only shown sisterly love by Rosalie. Her parents and family all ignored he because she 'wasn't pretty enough' to be 'classed as a Hale'. When she told us this, I was absolutely furious – we all were, with the exception of Will who didn't even know the difference between a nice person and a bad person (He was still mentally a child at the time).

Emmett and his guardians came next. Nadia, who was Emmett's younger sister, and Lucas, Emmett and Nadia's cousin, had died together after Lucas was tried to save Nadia from her boyfriend, who was trying to stab her to death, for 'looking at other boys'.

Jaspers guardian was a strange one, Tom had kept popping in and out of the guardian circle since 1863, because Jasper was going to be a Cullen one day but because Jasper kept going back to Maria, that caused Tom to come and go too. Tom was Jasper's nephew (Jasper's older sister by 16 years, son), he died saving Jasper's younger sister, Janessa, from being crushed by a carriage, but didn't get out the way in time to save himself.

It was the same with Alice's guardian too, because she wasn't changed by Carlisle, but would be part of his family one day, Sophia kept coming and going. Sophia, or Sophie as some called her, was Alice's older sister. She died whilst saving her friends young son from drowning in a lake, but became so tired she passed out and drowned herself.

Finally, when Alice and Jasper met, Tom and Sophia met properly as well. Alice and Jasper joined the Cullen family and Tom and Sophie joined the Cullen family guardians.

That brings us to the present day. Our guardian group was more like a family.

Elizabeth was our mother, keeping us in-line and loving us no matter what, she really was the mother I never had. Elizabeth is medium height with striking green eyes and unusual bronze coloured hair, she was just 37 when she died, but now she doesn't look a day over 30, having got the 'guardian makeover' as we call it. The guardian makeover is, when a human dies and they are chosen to become a guardian, they get a sort of makeover on the side. Our faces and features are kept the same but they are 'tidied up' a bit – meaning we are perfected. So Elizabeth now looks about 27.

Emily and Sophia are the oldest 'Kids'. Emily was 21 when she died and Sophia was 20. They are the perfect older sisters that help us with anything we need. They were practically always together; they were like non-identical twins, finishing each other's sentences, knowing roughly what the other is thinking. Emily looks a lot like Esme. She has Esme's old crystal blue eyes and long brunette hair with caramel highlights. Sophia has the same black hair that Alice has only her's reaches past her shoulders and startling hazel eyes. They are both 5"6' and slender.

Next in our family was Tom, he was 19 when he died and is quieter and more reserved than the rest of us, although he is a master prankster, along with Lucas. Tom is tall and quite lanky, although, he has got a lot of muscle, hidden away on his body. He has light brown-blonde hair and blue eyes. He has a good sense of humour but is an all round sensitive person – the type of guy you can talk about anything with.

Lucas was 18 when he died, making him 'child' number 4. He is also known as Luke, and is the king of pranks. We have all learnt the hard way to watch out for pranks. Lucas is about 6"2' and has the body build of a typical jock, with dark brown hair and grey eyes. His sense of humour is kinda crazy and he is fiercely protective over our family.

I come next in the family. I was 17 when I died. I have brunette hair that is a little longer than Sophie's, chocolate brown eyes and a very slim build, due to lack of food in my human life. I love to read, dance and sing. My family is incredibly important to me – I love them all. I do miss my dad though, but at least I can see him and know he is safe each day. I hate Leonora and Nathaniel for killing me, the only good thing that has come from it is my new family and watching over my 'dead' father, Carlisle.

Child number 6 in the guardian family is Nadia. She also watches over Emmett. We don't know why Emmett has two guardians, but Elizabeth, Tom and I came up with the theory that because when she died, Lucas was holding her and when he was killed, his 'spirit' became a guardian but it was intertwined with Nadia's, and that's was how she came to be a guardian. Like I said – it is only a theory but it is the most likely story. Nadia was 15 when she died; she has dark, wavy brown hair and the same grey eyes as Lucas. She is slim and lives to cook and dance.

Allysa was Rosalie's younger sister. Like me she was un-loved by everyone apart from one person, Rosalie. She was murdered by Royce, one week before he 'killed' Rosalie and two weeks before Rosalie was supposed to marry him. She was murdered at 14; we all agree she was way too young to die. Allysa, also known as Ally, has dark brown hair that has dark blonde high-lights and green eyes, which look a lot like Elizabeth's.

Last but not least, we have William, Guardian child number 8. Will is physically 5 years old but mentally he is about 15. He died of a chest infection when he was just 2 weeks old, but he was able to grow physically for a while when he became a guardian. William is Esme's son, and he came to us from the 'Resting in Peace' spirits. He had wanted to watch over his mom so he joined the Guardian family. Will has to be the cutest 5 year old there ever was, he has dark caramel hair, his mothers face and features and the same crystal blue eyes as Emily and Esme.

So that's my crazy (if not slightly dysfunctional) family and I wouldn't change them for the world.

**A/N – **

_Ok, so how was that?_

_I know that this is only about the new characters and not the actual story but this is all I could write without it getting depressing, as what I write tends to reflect my current mood............_

_The chapters are still horribly short for now but I just do not have very much time on my hands at the moment to even think about writing. _

_My life is so messed up that I can't think straight, even my best friends are having trouble keeping up with the constant stream of problems and are starting to give up on me – not the nicest feeling in the world, eh? _

_I have some serious issues I have to sort out so this story will have to be put on hold for now, as I cannot keep trying to write whilst sorting out my life. _

_I am truly sorry that it has come to this, but when I started this story, my life was fine and to be honest, probably the best it had been in a long time. But now................ well.........yeah._

_Once again I am sorry to all of you,_

_Thank-you for all your Reviews (they mean a lot)._

_A Big Thanks goes out to Robpfan, for her reviews, along with everyone else who has reviewed every chapter!!!!!!!!!! Love you all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! _

_Lots of Love, Hugs, Cookies, Emmett, Fluffy, Pink Sheep, Alice, Shopping and Good Luck_

_~Ashley xx_


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N – **

_Hi Guys, _

_Yes, I am still alive. I know it has been so long and I know how annoying it is to have a story put on Hold part way through, but I will explain what's been going on at the bottom of the page. _

_So for now, I hope you will enjoy Chapter 8._

"LUCAS! You give that back right now! Hey! You idiot, come here... Oh for god's sake Luke, you big baby just give it here! Jesus Cripes you are so immature!"

Oh for the love of all that's holy! Would they just give it a rest for 2 minutes? Some of us are at least _trying_ to do something intellectual.

"Ha-ha, Naddie, come and get me! Hey Tom, catch!" I heard Lucas shout. He had evidently stolen Nadia's diary... again.

"Oh damn you Lucas! Tom, please just give me my diary back!" Nadia cried in frustration from downstairs.

Why she didn't just hide the damn book somewhere Lucas's daft head wouldn't think of is beyond me. To be honest it is beyond all of us relatively sane people, but she still insists on keeping it in one of two places, at the back of her bookshelf or in her vanity table.

Oh well, I just hope Elizabeth will step in soon or else Lucas will end up dead. Or at least more so than he already is... If that's possible, but with Nadia, it might as well be.

I sighed, I had long since given up on trying to read and was now sat on my bed listening to my families (very) loud noise that drifted all the way up to my forth floor bed room.

I could hear Nadia's desperate cries, Lucas's booming laugh, Tom's almost silent chuckles, Will's shrikes of joy.

Then there was the banging. Dear god, Lucas was louder than a herd of elephants on crack.

Oh well... I just hope Lizzie gets back soon or else we will probably get kicked out of heaven (if that's possible) for disturbing the peace. I sighed again.

"Hey Tom, over here! Chuck it!" Luke's crazy-loud laugh filled the air, along with little William and Tom's. I could hear Nadia jumping; evidently Lucas was holding the book about his head. Ally was on her way down stairs – her light footsteps making it hard to determine what flight she was on.

Just then I heard the front door close with a small bang. Lizzie was obviously home from watching Edward, her biological son, with my father. Lucas didn't have anything more than a few seconds to give Nadia back he diary and make a peace offering or else Lizzie would see (or rather hear – as I'd established within 3 days of Lucas arriving here, in heaven, he was loud enough for the resting in peace spirits to hear – and that's really bursting-your-ear-drums loud).

5, 4, 3, 2, 1...

"Lucas McCarty you give Nadia back her diary this instant or so help me I will take your Xbox away again." Lizzie's firm voice rang through the house.

I grinned to myself, remembering the first time our mom made this threat. Lucas had stolen Nadia's diary (yes, Luke has a weird obsession with his cousins diary. To be honest I gave up trying to understand about half a century ago) and Lizzie had threatened to take away his Xbox.

Of course he didn't believe that our sweet, loving mother would actually go through with the threats.

He had started reading out (very loudly I might add) Naddie's most inner thoughts. Of course this is where Sophie, Emily, Ally, Naddie and I had all jumped on him and bound his hands together with Em's head scarf. The sight of Lucas, huge muscled Lucas, sat in the middle of our lounge with a completely bewildered expression in addition to his hands being tied together with pink flowery headscarf is certainly something I won't be forgetting anytime soon.

"Awww, but Lizzie!"

"But Lizzie what?"

"It's not fair – you take away my Xbox and then I suffer withdrawals from it. But whenever Nadia does something wrong you don't threaten her! Its favouritism – I swear!"

"Favouritism, eh? And since when has Nadia done something wrong? Answer me that Lucas."

"Umm... Uhhh, well, she, umm..." he paused for a moment. I could almost see the cogs turning in his head. "Oh for the love of go-"

"LUCAS!"

"Oh, right, sorry mom. But still why does she have to be such a little goody-goody all the time?" Luke complained, I could practically see the frown on his face.

"Luke, just because Nadia don't go around wrecking havoc on everyone and everything, does not mean she's a goody-goody. It just means she's more mature than you, despite the age gap." Allysa, probably one the most sensible and sensitive of my family's, quiet voice piped up.

"Allysa's right cousin of mine, Just cus I don't have the mental age that's equivalent to my shoe size doesn't mean I'm a goody goody." Nadia stated.

"Bu-"

"Save it Lucas. Give nadia back her diary, apologise and go tidy the games room – you've left it in a state worse than a pig sty." Elizabeth told him.

"Uhh, Fine, I get it she's the favourite. Hey Nads, catch, sorry I took the book again. Ok?" came Lucas's annoyed reply. I sighed, I seemed to be doing that a lot at the moment, he would get over this in an hour or so, Luke never could hold a grudge against one of us.

I could hear him stomping up the wooden staircase and the games door slamming, all the while muttering about favouritism, and Nadia's quiet "Thanks mom."

This all caused an amused smile to breakout over my face as I placed my long since forgotten book down beside me and shifted towards my window so I could look out towards the clouds.

Lizzie had that sort of authority over us that we can't disobey – a true mother's authority.

I truly think of Lizzie as my mother now. She cares about me, what I think and what I do. She reminds me of what my mother was like before my father was changed, how she might have been like if things had been different.

I still think about her sometimes. My real mother that is. Weather she felt some form of guilt over my death. If she regretted treating me in that fashion.

I could have checked, could have seen her from up here, but I couldn't bring myself to do so.

At least, not in her life time.

It wasn't so much that I hated her, well, maybe I did a bit - she did end my miserable life, but there was something holding me back. A something I'm still unsure of.

I sometimes wonder how it would have been, could have been if I hadn't died. Would she have ever changed? Or had Nathaniel completely brainwashed her? Could I have run away? Would I have ever recovered from my injuries, both physical and psychological?

I will never know. It still haunts me sometimes, all these what ifs and maybes, but then I think of my new family and realise that even if I had lived and I had escaped, one way or another, I would have never been this happy. I wouldn't have such an amazing family. I may have found love and had my own children, but I would have never had so many brothers and sisters surrounding me, filling my days with endless happiness, joy and love. I almost defiantly wouldn't have had a new mother who really did love me unconditionally.

And to know this, and to be able to see my father and his part of our large family, it makes me realise how truly grateful I actually am to Leonora and Nathaniel.

I know right?

Who in their right minds would be glad their own mother and step-father (in spite of the fact they never acted like it) murdered them? Brutally and mercilessly at that.

But it got me a new family,

And for that irreplaceable thing, I'm oddly grateful.

**A/N –**

_Ok, so I know I've asked this pretty much every time but how was that?_

_Any good?_

_So I'm guessing some of you (actually, probably all of you) are really, really, really peed off with me right now, for just stopping after only 7 chapters but I have good reason, one I am guessing I should just say/ type, just to get it out of the way._

_Before this is said/ typed or whatever, all I ask is that you don't judge me. I have enough people doing that around me without people in the one place I can be almost free in (the internet because I don't know any of the reviewers in person) doing it as well. _

_So, now I've asked you not to judge me, here goes. I have an eating disorder. EDNOS bordering on full blown Anorexia, with a bit of Bulimia. Before anyone thinks I'm a vain, stupid, self obsessed (people from school's words, not mine) teenage girl, please just forget the stereotypes surrounding eating disorders. I did NOT want this – to me it's not a life style choice, but a curse. One that's taking away all the friends I thought were true and loyal. And these past few months have been some of the hardest, as it's starting to get out of control, and my doctors are starting to get more worried. It's taking its toll on my family as well, my little sister can't understand why I can't eat properly and my twin is finding it almost as hard as it is for me to cope._

_Add to all this that my BFFL has been going through some horrible times to – she also has EDNOS (not her choice either) and her dad has just abandoned her so, she's needed me more than ever. _

_Oh, and let's not forget the fact that my school is putting pressure on my whole year to get amazing grades in out end of year exams, as it 'influences our grades over the next two years of GCSE work' –and since (sorry if I sound big headed) I am in top set for most subjects, more pressure is being added._

_So yeah, know you know. _

_My life is so beyond messed up, it's insane and it gets hard to cope. My parents have taken my laptop away so I've had to write this on our family computer, which is hard because when I do use it they're breathing down my neck, watching what I'm doing._

_So I'm guessing this is it until the next time I get to write. I promise I will try harder to push everything aside, just for an hour, to write. And hopefully I can reply to any reviews I do get._

**_AND JUST SO YOU KNOW I AM NOT SHARING THIS FOR SYMPATHY! _**

**_I WOULDN'T DO THAT - I DONT WANT PITY - JUST SUPPORT._**

_Hope life is treating you all well _

_Lots of Love, Hugs, Cookies, Emmett, Fluffy, Pink Sheep, Alice, Shopping, Good Luck and Apologies _

_~Ashley xx _


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